Scott Tatro reinforced a valuable lesson to me today. I won't spend a great amount of time explaining about who Scott is other than to

say he is a fellow I met recently on my (our) stroke support page on Facebook, appropriately titled StrokesSuck. I will say this though,

Scott recently wrote a book about his experiences of having a stroke and being"locked in" for three months where he couldn't move

but was aware of his surroundings during this ordeal.This was due to a visit to a Chiropractor. It is not my intent to say anything pro

or con about Chiropractors. I'll let you make up your own mind after reading Scott's book titled "Scotts Locked In".

The purpose of this writing is about the lesson of giving before receiving one that Scott thoroughly understands.


As someone who runs a popular stroke support website Strokes Suck.com and now a very popular interactive Facebook page with at

present six lovely ladies who are also stroke survivors (I know lucky me right?) I get requests all the time from people to feature their

book or webpage on my sites. Often times I will if I feel that it will bring value to the people we serve.

Scott's book was one such book that definitely fit that criteria. I even told Scott that I will buy it as soon as I could.

Anyone like myself on a fixed income like Social Security does not usually have much expendable income for... well anything.

So I was waiting until I won the lottery or some other wonderful event to enter my life before I made the purchase.

Most of the books I read I get from the library. Hopefully this will change soon but for now that is my reality.


Anyway Scott never asked me to "buy" his book. Rather he invested much sweat equity of his own into educating me and others about

his compelling story. Just today Scott contacted me requesting my address so he could send me a copy of his book.

I was touched by his offer. He knows the value of "giving before receiving" and not just because he is going to send me a free book

but by all of his actions of service and making connections beforehand.  Never once did he solicit me to buy his book.

I am very grateful for his offer even though Scott is losing a future sale, I am sure he will receive many more in return.

I am really looking forward to reading his book and if it is as good as I am anticipating it will be, he will receive my hearty

endorsement.

Bob Miller
Strokes Suck
Strokes Suck on FaceBook

In the last week of December while contemplating my goals for the approaching New Year and the decade approaching

I created a stroke support page to work with my stroke support site, Strokes Suck.

I named this page appropriately, Strokes Suck. My intent was the same as my website but with the ability to become much more

flexible and interactive. I am happy to report that the concept has become an almost instant success.

My philosophy was and remains to Give hope and inspiration to others so that they can reach their full potential despite their

challenges. To help them become their best self. At the same time to encourage them to do the same.

This is the "Pay it forward" concept and it works.


By giving without expectations, I discovered that by taking my focus off of my problems and helping someone else, I became

much stronger in the process. I receive at least tenfold in return from what I give.

During this short six weeks since I created this page I have learned more about strokes and people in general than I have

in my last three plus years as a survivor.

You see during my last three years, even though I did have my stroke support website, I was still mainly focused on myself

and my own rehab and recovery. There is nothing wrong with that. In fact you have to bear down and do whatever it takes

to improve and I am continuing that process.


By taking my focus off myself and focusing on others, I have found and am continuing to find many wonderful people

who feel the same. Many of these people have volunteered to help me to manage the page as it grows.

The first to offer to help was Julie Curtis a young survivor and mother of two toddlers with an amazing story of her own.

You can read her story in our Discussions Forum on our page.

Recently three lovely ladies from Canada who we refer to as our Canadian Connection have joined our team.

Those ladies are Kim Tucker, Naomi Chester and Miranda Therrien.


I have also begun a newsletter that you can subscribe from on my site and we just added a chat room on our page.

As of today we have over 660 fans belonging to our group page and that number is growing daily.

One of the best features is our Discussions Forum. People can read and respond to the stories of others and also post their own.

I am in a continuing state of awe of the inner strength exemplified by the amazing people who come here daily.

We support and encourage all of the other groups out there who are working for the common good of encouraging

and inspiring survivors and their families.

This is a beautiful ride. I encourage everyone to jump on board and enjoy the scenery.

Bob Miller
Strokes Suck
Strokes Suck on FaceBook

I had at least three titles for this blog that I am about to write. We Must Work Harder, It's A Fine Line and All Things Being Equal.

All things being equal, because we are a marvelously designed creation of God, you would not wish for a traumatic brain injury

 including stroke any more than you would hope that your newly purchased car becomes involved in a major collision.

If your car was in a wreck it doesn't necessarily mean that it is totaled. You may wish that the crash didn't happen, but it did.

Now you do whatever you have to do to get it repaired. Perhaps it was because something that you were doing that put your vehicle

in that position. Or maybe it was through no fault of your own. It doesn't matter now because it happened. We can't change the past.


We need to work harder now. Just like your vehicle that was repaired, maybe it "pulls" to the right or left. Perhaps it has an annoying

sound that it now makes. Whatever, it doesn't really matter. It is our only vehicle that we will ever drive in our life.


It now becomes a fine line how we drive this vehicle. On one hand we must now work harder because it doesn't function like it did

before the wreck. How we drive now becomes a fine line because though we need to work harder at steering, all things being

equal we may have learned some new valuable driving techniques to make us better safer drivers.


All things being equal, we do now have to work harder than before. But it's a fine line that we need to take whether we work too hard

and have another accident. Or slow down and enjoy the scenery as we continue on our journey.

Drive safely.
Bob Miller
Strokes Suck..But

Your life has been turned upside down.
Nothing is as it used to be.
Yet you survived.
Perhaps for a higher purpose.
Our problems become magnified,
yet the issues of others remain.
It is difficult to be the light that shines
 focused only on ourselves.
Try this little exercise.
Make 3 people smile today.
Do this each and every day.
Tomorrow, recall your chosen three.
meditate on the joy that you shared.
You shined the light of joy onto others
 who needed it as much as you.
Only God knows
  where this  love and joy will reflect.
You can not do this without feeling good yourself.
It will feel so good,
that you will want to do it again
tomorrow
and each and every day.

Bob Miller
StrokesSuck.com
Visit us on Facebook,

Like the thief and the storm, stroke takes without concern.

Endless work, rebuilding ensues like Spring, welcomes Hope.

Leaves scattered, bud once more.

Flowers bloom, birds sing and make love.

Are we selfish to desire at least?


Bob Miller
Strokes Suck

I love using acronyms. I use them all the time in my daily, weekly, monthly and yearly goal planning.

I created the STRETCH acronym for one of many personal therapy strategies that I utilize.

Let me first mention that any therapy or exercise mentioned by me was designed for myself only.

It may or not not be of any value to you .If it or if any variation of these help you fine.

I am not a medical professional, a therapist or even a fitness coach nor do I play one on the internet.

 I mention strategies that  I have applied only to myself.

Before doing any exercise you should always first check with your doctor and/or therapist to see if it is safe for you to attempt.

I need not look any further than myself for an example of what I am about to write.

As the title of this piece indicates, it would be reasonable to assume that I am advocating stretching as a form of therapy.

That would be a correct assumption however as I was recovering from my stroke a little over three years ago, not only couldn't

I move my paralyzed left side but my shoulder on this side became 'sublexed", which means the ball of the shoulder became

 detached from the socket that it was designed to fit into.

Any movement, stretching, pulling or any weight  put on my shoulder would only  cause more harm by pulling the shoulder further

out of it's socket. This obviously had an adverse effect on my recovery as i was not able to do anything but keep my arm immobilized.

That said let me detail the letters and their meaning in the STRETCH therapy.


S: Stretch as much and as often as you can. Whatever you have that is on your non affected side you should stretch on your

weak side, Stretch your arm, hand and fingers. Stretch your legs, feet and toes. To me it just seems like common sense to get

your limbs and digits moving as soon as possible so they do not contract or freeze up. Any delay in movement will make it harder

 to recover down the road. Use it or lose it. After a spell of inactivity it will be difficult and often extremely painful to use your dormant

limbs and digits. For me just holding something like a coffee cup in my left hand brought unbearable pain. That's why people stop

trying. it just hurts so darn bad plus it isn't working anyway. Who wants to have a whole lot of pain? it is often times just easier

to use the other hand. i believe that stretching is the single most important thing that you can do for your recovery.


T: Take Action. Tiny steps or movements. Try something new  or something that you once able able to do. It doesn't matter how small

the accomplishment. Just try it anyway. Like the Nike commercial, Just do it.  I remember a major breakthrough

for myself when first arriving home after being released fro the rehab hospital was being able to grasp a ribbon with my thumb

and my index finger. The key here is to take action. it is your body, be proactive. Don't wait for someone to help you. Take action.

“The most important thing you can do to achieve your goals is to make sure that as soon as you set them, you immediately begin to

create momentum.” —Anthony Robbins


R .Rest and relax. I don't know why you had your stroke but your body needs to recover.

 Do your exercises,work hard but let your body and mind recover

Get plenty of rest and relaxation. Learn strategies like meditation and yoga when you are ready. Slow down and listen to your body.

Learn to relax. Taking deep breaths is helpful to obtain a nice relaxed state.

My stroke was caused by an asrtery rupturing in my brain. I had high blood pressure that I neglected to have treated. Had I listened

to my body and found a peaceful relaxing place within myself, I believe that I could have controlled my blood pressure.

I am not discounting a proper diet here, that should go without saying. We all need how to slow down and relax.


E. Expect great things to happen. Every stroke is unique and we are all affected differently  however, I can truthfully say that in over

 90% of the survivors that  I have spoken with, have recovered far more and faster than their doctors had said were possible.

There is a medical term, Neuroplasticity which is the brains ability to rewire itself after an injury. During my workouts I often

visualize my brain actually repairing itself. I don't know if it works but why not expect the best? Much like the Law of Attraction,

we attract to our life what we are thinking about all the time. Have nothing less than positive expectations.

What you focus on and believe in is true. What you focus on expands.

You may not gain 100% of all of what you had before your injury, however you may end up operating at 115% instead because you

most likely will improve in some other  areas of your life. Perhaps your life will have more meaning. it will if you allow it to happen.


T:Be Thankful. I'm not suggesting that you give thanks for your stroke but there are things that you should be thankful for. What are you

thankful for? Let's start with you being alive. I realize that they may not even seem like a blessing to you right now. Believe me, there

were many times in the first few months after my stroke where I wished that God would take me .I was weak and felt worthless. I recall

having a conversation with my physical therapist while still in rehab about how bad my situation (life) was while attempting to relearn

how to walk.

She said, "It could be worse", at that I responded in all seriousness, "Are you joking, what could possibly be worse than this"?

She then rattled off a litany of disorders most of which were progressive meaning they will only get worse. She said,"You are

continuing to improve". it was like someone threw a bucket of cold water in my face. I felt silly and stupid. it reminded me of the

short parable of the man who said,"I used to cry because I had no shoes until I saw a man without any feet".

It's all perspective. What are you thankful for?


C: Celebrate all successes. Yours as well as those of others. Applaud each and every success much like you would to a toddler

learning how to walk. Your subconscious doesn't know who you are rooting for, it only recognizes that you are celebrating a success.

Keep your mind in the celebration mode. Give your self a reason to celebrate often. Be happy for and celebrate all successes.

Make a game out of your little successes. reward yourself and have fun.


H: Help someone else. How can you do that when you are in a wheelchair , your life is so messed , you're angry, depressed and

bitter? Do you want to improve your life? Then help someone else. You can not help someone without helping yourself.

"He who wishes to secure the good of others, hasalready secured his own". -Confucius

Think about it, there is always someone who could use a smile, a kind word or a pat on the back. You don't have a monopoly on
 
suffering. Was your life problem free before your stroke? Did you have any troubling times before your stroke where a kind word

would have helped? Did you ever need a helping hand when your body was operating at it's peak efficiency?

 How about trying to make someone smile every day?

 One of my daily goals is to make at least three people smile every day. If you are home bound, in a nursing home or confined

to your bed and only see one person each day, help that person by making them smile or saying something to make them feel

better. This act every day will do wonders for your health by taking the focus off of yourself and onto the goodwill of your fellow

man and for the betterment of the universe in general. try it, you'll like it. When  I was still in the hospital even before rehab

my youngest daughter Katey who was 19 at the time created a large poster board sign that she brought to my room that read,

"Who have you helped today?" I wasn't much in the position to help anyone including myself but it did make make me think

and it helped me to take the focus off of myself.

Bob Miller
StrokesSuck

The following is the 23rd verse of the Tao Te Ching that I took from Wayne Dyer's , Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life.

I found this passage particuraly prophetic because as I was reading it, Southern California is going through a week long

series of heavy storms. Like misfortunes that happen to us in life, the saying,"This too shall pass" comes to mind.

To talk little is natural:
Fierce winds do not blow all morning:
a downpour of rain does not last the day:
Who does this? Heaven and earth.

But these are exaggerated, forced effects,
and that is why they cannot be sustained.
If heaven and earth cannot sustain a forced action,
how much less is man able to do?

Those who follow the Way
become one with the Way.
Those who follow goodness
become one with goodness.
Those who stray from the Way and goodness
become one with failure.

If you conform to the Way, it's power flows through you.
Your actions become those of nature,
your ways those of heaven.

Open yourself to the Tao
and trust your natural responses...
then everything will fall into place.

The Tao was written by Lao-tzo over 2,550 years ago.
I believe that many of our own religious beliefs mirror the wisdom written here.
Feel free to substitute Tao with your own belief like God or the universe.

For basically the message is like what Wayne Dyer is fond of saying:
Let go and let God.

Bob Miller
StrokesSuck.com

I am excited to report that I have created a newsletter for my stroke support website  My plan is to offer only positive, inspirational

and empowering material. I am open to suggestions and I will consider any source as long as it meets the inspirational criteria

and it adds value to the readers. I would like to have at least one guest column for each edition. Initially I am planning on a

bi-monthly schedule. If anyone has any ideas or comments feel free to pass them on to Bob@StrokesSuck.com


Bob Miller
StrokesSuck.com

Instead of focusing on yourself and your problems whether big or small, realize that everyone you meet has got some issue in their life that they are experiencing. What might seem inconsequential to you may be a major source of concern for someone else.
Try taking the focus of of yourself and show a little concern for those you encounter on a daily basis.
Here's a little exercise. Each day for a month, decide that you will consciously make three people smile or laugh before lunch time.
If you do it which you will, if you think about it, think about duplicating the procedure after lunch. The second part is totally up to you but I bet you that you will have so much fun doing it that you will soon form a habit of making others happy,
Think about it, what do people really want? To be happy, liked, loved and appreciated. A simple smile conveys that warm message that says, I like you. I appreciate you as a child of God. In a world of such turmoil and strife doesn't that just make sense?
What's your reaction when you receive a smile? Yeah, you usually smile right back. It's simple.
Don't take my word for it, try it tomorrow or today.
If you are blessed with a family with children, what better lesson could you give them?

Bob Miller
StrokesSuck

Did you ever try and force too much water or stuff down a drain or garbage disposal?

Did you ever over load the washer with too many clothes? What usually happens? It gets bogged down or plugged up and the end

 result is that it stops functioning altogether.

Do you ever feel like that yourself? Like you try and do too many things at the same time only to become overwhelmed and frustrated?

Great intentions turn into lame excuses. I am as guilty as any but we need to forgive ourselves and begin to become truly aware

of our present. The present moment is truly the only time that we have.

You can only stuff so much fruit into a blender before it stops working altogether.

I supposedly learned that lesson just over three years ago when an artery blew up in my brain causing a massive stroke.

We (I) must be aware of what is truly important, confront our challenges one step at a time and slow down.

When the flood gates of ideas are flowing, give thanks and welcome them as blessings from your Creator.

If it is not time to act on them jot them down in a notebook somewhere for future consideration.

Now if only I will listen to the inner voice within. If only I will heed my own advice.

New ideas are exciting and challenging as long as we(I) remember the blender.

Bob Miller
The Stroke Coach