Most homes in developed countries are equipped with a thermostat.

The thermostat raises or lowers the temperature of the house to a specified preset degree regardless of the temperature outside.

This device has absolutely no control of the weather outside. There could be a heat wave or sub freezing conditions.

 It doesn't  matter, a well functioning thermostat will regulate the temperature on the inside for you despite the conditions outside.

What about you? Do you have such a device that enables you to determine how you react to outside influences?

Just like the thermostat has no say in the conditions on the outside, we are also confronted with daily elements that enter our life.

How do you react when someone offends you, or cuts you off while driving?

How do you react if you receive some disturbing news?

Because we have little control of all outside events, wouldn't it be beneficial to at least have the final say in our own emotions?

We have wide range of possible emotions available for us to choose between Joy & Happiness and Fear & Depression.

Given that choice most people, I would imagine would choose the former over the latter.

It is possible even during the course of a single day that are emotions could fluctuate between both ends of that scale.

It's like the old adage our life is determined  by 10% of what happens but 90% of how we react.

Have you thought about setting your inner thermostat to a preset emotion?

You do have the choice to to how you react. How you respond is in your hands only.

Don't you think it would be wise to preset your emotions at Positive Expectations?

When you feel anger, rage blame,doubt, worry or any of the other negative emotions that do nothing to serve you,

think of your inner thermostat and move the lever to Positive Expectations.

Try it for one day and see how it works for you. It may very well be difficult for you at first but through practice you will improve.

Bob Miller
The Stroke Coach







 

I spent  a few hours with a dear friend who is prepared to leave his physical body due to the advanced stage of Pancreatic cancer that

 he has courageously been battling for about a year now.

Spiritual people seem to have a peaceful transition from this earth.

I along with my eight living siblings and 20 some nephews, nieces and cousins were there when my mother's spirit  left her body

on her 80th birthday last year.

The peace I was blessed with to witness on both occasions will forever be a part of me.

Joe is still here and there is more that I wanted to say that I thought about after I left.

I am not sure I will get the opportunity but I did my best with my tears.

The tears however were not for him but selflessly they were for me and his family and friends.

I may not be able to speak to him anymore in this plane.

But he will speak to me as long as I live the same way my mother lives through me now.

Bob Miller
The Stroke Coach

After something as devastating as a stroke it is vitally important that you get therapy (physical,occupational,and or speech) as soon
 as possible. Get as much therapy as your insurance will allow. Then learn from your therapists the specific exercises that you can do at home on your own or with your caregiver, spouse, etc.

 I am not a doctor or a therapist nor do I play one on the internet.
So before you do anything on your own consult first with your doctor and therapist.
Eventually though the insurance will probably stop funding your therapy but youmust keep doing your therapy if you wish to continue to improve.

The internet is your friend. Do extensive research about your specific affliction and learn as much as you can and continue to get updates as new advancements and treatments are always being found.

Remember"that if you don't use it you will lose it". Use your weakened limbs(and brain) as much as practical without causing harm. Always be safe. Don't over extend yourself.

Design a practical plan with your doctor, therapist, caregiver or family members and never give up.

Strive for little improvements every day and you will amaze yourself.

Even years after a severe stroke many survivors continue to see improvements but you can really help your cause by your own diligent work and a positive can- do attitude.
Bob Miller
StrokesSuck.com

I have a personal life/success philosophy that I have been diligintly following for several years now.

It is called my ABCD of Success. My intent was to create a simplified road map for myself to help me stay focused and on target.

Each letter symbolizes an area of my life including my mental/emotional, physical, relationships, financial and spiritual self.

The spiritual is actually the hub if you can imagine a circle or a wheel and the hub being in the center.

This is the center of our being, our universal connection or God.

My personal belief is that we are all designed  to grow in all areas of our life.

In most cases we have the ability and duty to improve ourselves, our life, the lives of those around us and our sphere of influence.

There are times however when through circumstances in life that it seems to become too difficult, confusing or overwhelming.

If life reaches this point, a wonderful and extremely powerful strategy is to relax and clear your mind totally.

Take a few deep breaths and close your eyes.

Picture the middle of the circle as your connection to God. This is your hub that binds your life together.

This is also your portal to the entire universe, like a window to the all that there is and ever was.

This is God and nothing else really matters.

Go there and deposit all of your troubles. Let them disperse into the infinite vastness. See all your troubles drift away

Let go and let God.

Bob Miller
The Stroke Coach

Great tools available at our disposal offering to assist us in our daily journey through life.

Books, DVD'S, quotes, you name it, they are there if we open our eyes.

Two books come to mind that were helpful for my perspective during my stroke recovery.

"My Stroke of Insight" by Jill Bolte Taylor and "Ask and it is Given" by Esther and Jerry Hicks

Both books and their authors offer viewpoints that differ with mainstream thinking but that I have found conducive

towards implementing a favorable perspective on life.

Most stroke survivors disagree heartily with Taylor's version of what it feels like while having a stroke.

I can't imagine nor have I heard of anyone else describe their stroke as a "Nirvana like feeling"

Hick's book is very "New Age" in it's thoughts with their conversations with the "Universal Source", Abraham.

The commonality they both provide though is our ability to control our emotions and perspective.

Instead of us being carried away in the river of harmful emotions like hared, anger, worry, guilt, blame,

unworthiness and all of the others that will only serve to destroy, we have the ability within us to at the very least

set positive expectations as our default emotion much like your thermostat in your home.

This is not to say that you will not feel fear when you are confronted or anger when assaulted. It simply means

that we have the power to switch out of these destructive emotions at will and aim for emotions like, love, happiness,

hope and joy.

Sort of like Dorothy in The Wizard of OZ, we have the power within ourselves to go home at will simply by clicking our heels.

Bob Miller
The Stroke Coach
Strokes Suck

Everyone has heard the phrase "Use it or lose it" and it is definitely a true statement and never more true than for stroke survivors.
When I had my brain attack my entire left side became paralyzed. The rehab technicians in the hospital were trying to get me to move  as soon as I was released from ICU.
This was a great strategy even though I think I caused more pain to my therapists. One poor girl sprained her wrist trying to catch me from falling.

Each persons situation is exclusive  to them and mine was pretty bad, to make matters worse my left shoulder became sublexed which basically is a major separation of the ball from the joint.

Any attempts to exercise the shoulder at that point only made my particular condition worse. That being said one should, under the supervision of their doctor or therapist begin as soon as safely possible  to use their muscle groups and not just the muscles that are affected or injured.

The longer that you put it off the harder it will be to gain back the flexibility and lost strength.

So be prepared for a lot of pain and frustration but it is much better than the alternative.

Use it or lose it applies not only to rehab situations but also our professional and personal life as well.
When was the last time you told your husband or wife how much you loved them?
When was the time you polished your people or business skills?

Remember, "Use it or lose it"

Bob Miller
StrokesSuck.com

As the creator of a popular and growing online stroke support network I have been blessed to have been inspired by so many

who have done so much with so little.

When something as major as a stroke enters your life it is easy to question, "why me"?

Few things in life will surpass the the enormity or life changing event as a stroke.

It is understandable the loss of such things as your ability to walk, talk, make love, earning a living, carrying on a relationship,

saving your marriage or your memory, can have a depressing kind of effect on someone.

This is especially true for those still suffering from the recent shock after it first happens.

It is not for me to tell someone what they can or should do to improve. Nor will I stand in judgment of another because in many cases

not even they themselves can fully grasp what is going on in their minds.

One lesson that I can share however that I do believe can work for not only stroke survivors but people of all walks of life is to focus

on what we can do. Whether you are a sales person making a phone call or someone relearning how to walk.

Take that first step and do what you can now do and give absolutely no thought whatsoever to what you can not do.

Then do what you can and do it again tomorrow only a little bit more and a little bit better.

Bob Miller
The Stroke Coach
Strokes Suck
Strokes Suck UK

Doing! Perhaps my favorite topic. No matter what it is that you would like to accomplish whether it is playing tennis or the piano, the only

way to improve in any endeavor is by doing the desired task.

This is hardly a revelation, everyone reading this knows it is true

 Why then do we not do the things we know we must do to succeed?

Are you afraid to fall, fail or look foolish?

Perhaps you are waiting for the right time or situation.

The problem is we can never be certain exactly when that will be.

And yes you most likely will fall, fail and look foolish.

Accept that and get on with doing.

Sometimes we just need to hear it one more time.

Now get out there and start doing.

Bob Miller
Strokes Suck

Most of the things that I do these days are more difficult for me now  especially after my second stroke less than two months ago.

I detailed my experiences of "starting over again" in a recent blog post.

Today during my morning walk I began to reminisce about the strategies I used to recover my physical abilities from my first stroke.

I remember how my daily walks would include unorthodox sessions of lunges, bending, picking up stones with alternate hands and

writing the letter B in the dirt with a different finger on each bend.

Joining a local Toastmaster's group helped me regain some of my lost speech capabilities.

Today I sent an email to my Toastmaster group asking them to schedule me for as many jobs in as many different roles as possible

Some of these positions are much less desirable than the others, and not everyone is enamored with these posts.

  The only way, that you will ever improve proficiency at any task however is by performing or  "doing" the chore over and over.

I may "suck" at things that I do now but I will improve. There is no place to go but up.

Repetition creates mastery.


Bob Miller
Strokes Suck

Very seldom will you hear or read about me complaining about my personal situation.

 Instead of being a glass half full person I like to imagine me as being a glass  filled to the brim type of guy.

I needed to say that in order to qualify where I stand with my recovery at the present after my second stroke.

On my scale of 1 to 11, with 11 being dead,  I would have to classify my first one three and a half years ago as a solid 8.

Sparing the details for the sake of brevity, I have made continuous steady improvement until my recent much smaller stroke

less than two months ago.

Fortunately this stroke was in my estimation perhaps a 2 on my stroke measuring scale.

I may have been a little too eager to begin my victory celebration as my previously "good" but now slightly weakened right leg gave

way to a slanted and holey roadway causing me a severely sprained ankle as I crumpled helplessly into the street.

Finally over a month later as my ankle is near 100%,  I am beginning to assess the actual effect the second stroke had upon me.

Happily most of the physical effects of my recently effected right side are now only minimal, however my left side which was

making so much improvement has seemed to regress by about two years worth of effort.

I am not sure this makes sense from a neurological stand point. Brain damage on the left affects the right and vice versa.

The only explanation I have is that the connections that I "rewired" from the first stroke now got sort of tangled or kinked.

Oh well, what happened is done. Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% of how we deal with it.

As I previously stated, I am not one to feed or give power to any negative sources so I won't.

 I simply need to rely on some strategies of old. I remember after my first stroke when relearning how to walk how I would tell

myself  the following, "left foot, right foot". Not only couldn't I physically do it, I didn't even remember how at that point.

That reminder worked for me then and it is proving useful once again as I continue repairing all the damaged but not

broken connections.

I guess the lesson for me in all of this  in order to be victorious is either use strategies that worked before or find new ones.

Oh yeah, and Never, Ever, Ever give up.

Bob Miller
Strokes Suck