As stroke survivors we have been introduced to a host of major challenges that we most likely never considered would never ever happen to us. Like being a crime victim, it always supposed to happen to someone else.
Well I guess we now know otherwise don't we?

Now the advice that I am about to give is not from some relationship guru who is in a blissful long term marriage.
I can however speak with a little experience as I was in fact in a marriage of 33 years that just ended last year.
My thoughts are now based as someone on the outside looking in and who witnesses the trials of others going through some very difficult times mentally, physically, socially and certainly financially.

Our situations, our lives and the lives of our family and loved ones have dramatically changed.
Unfortunately we expect a spouse to all of a sudden be our lifetime caregiver, live in a world of constant reminders about stroke and listen to our complaints of confusion, depression, ailments etc.
Yes our lives have changed but hasn't the lives of our spouses also been forever altered?

Perhaps we overlook the fact that about 50% of marriages in general fall by the wayside under normal circumstances.Why do we expect more out of a spouse just because something devastating happens to us?
Most spouses don't usually bail right away, though I'm sure some do. Some relationships may have been on life support even before our "major event" occurred. Are we to expect that with these new aforementioned issues that things will become better?

Could it be that now our focus is now 100% on ourselves with no room for the needs of our spouse? Remember it's supposed to be 50- 50 or so in a relationship? Did their needs magically disappear because our problems grew?
I suggest that if you truly love your spouse and if it's not already too late, that you start evening the score. Tell him/her how much you love and care for  them. Do little things to surprise them that makes them feel special the way you did when you first met.
Do this now before you have one more thing to complain about, a partner you claimed abandoned you at your time of need.

Bob Miller
Strokes Suck
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Strokes Suck UK